Zedacon Blag

The official blag.

  • Citadel Archives

  • “Half-Life: FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES”

    "John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went. John Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat. John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so he had to go. John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon. The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys". John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs. "I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said "Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman. "Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster. John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Ravenholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again. John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house. John Freeman said "Zombie goasts leave this place" and the zombie goasts said "but this is our house" and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece. Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs. When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said "John Freeman! Over here!" so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see. Gordon Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Gordon Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed. The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said "NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and John Freeman walked real fast out. John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry. "I'll get you back evil boss!" John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs. to be continued..?"
  • We are The Meta

  • Initiate

People with zero understanding of the Internet try to make statements about it.

Posted by Zedacon on February 5, 2009

The threat of cybercrime is rising sharply, experts have warned at the World Economic Forum in Davos.
They called for a new system to tackle well-organised gangs of cybercriminals.

This is where things become problematic. When any organization starts trying to control the internet we see a decline in human intelligence. The internet is not a single location or country that is subject to the real word. On the internet, laws do not apply outside an individual server. That server is a form of government. It sets the laws for it’s own location and then interacts with the other servers on the internet, much in the same way a country might interact with the rest of the world. If you try to control it however, you are, for all intents and purposes, violating the rights of an independent nation. It’s an act of war. And the thing about the internet is that, while you may have an infinite number of rival servers and opinions, they are all united under the idea of freedom. They are allowed to do what ever they want. They can have those opinions and rivalries. But when people try to fight the internet or the freedom it represents, you get situations like the DDoSing of entire organizations.
One such incident was the mass DDoSing of the Scientology websites by the organization Anonymous. Scientology tried to regulate the internet and control freedom, and the internet retaliated first with DDoSing their servers, then taking to the streets by the tens of thousands during “Project Chanology” and protesting in cities around the world in front of Scientology buildings. To some, this may seem extremist, but to the internet, it’s a fight for freedom. A retaliation against oppression. Anonymous, while at a glance a hostile organization, is more of a militia. They are the citizens taking up arms and fighting an invasive enemy. Another retaliation the internet has created has become known as the “Streisand Effect” after a photographer taking pictures of California beaches accidentally took a picture of Barbara Streisand’s house. Streisand demanded the picture be taken down and had authorities force the few hosting websites to take the image off. At that time, there were only a dozen or so website hosting the picture. Within twelve hours, the image had spread to over 500,000 other websites. Wikileaks, a website dedicated to the free release of information, is another major situation. The website says that its goal is to help reporters in oppressive nations escape the bonds of censorship, and has untold amounts of classified government documents. Wikileaks had attained private Scientology documents and hosted them, but the Church of Scientology tried to force the website to remove them. Wikileaks responded with a simple statement, in retaliation for the censorship, they were going to release thousands of classified Scientology documents the next week.
You can’t control the internet. Doing so is like trying to control the void of space. It is infinite and ever-expanding. No matter what you do, the internet will win. The only effective way to control the internet is to not. The internet regulates itself and, despite common allegations from the ill-informed, is not a haven of stupidity and chaos. Like the real world, it does have problems. But the internet is in many ways more civilized than the real world.
Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise said that space was the final frontier. He was half-right. It is still a frontier, but not the final. The internet is the true final frontier. When it ends, it will indeed be with a bang, not a whimper.


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2 Responses to “People with zero understanding of the Internet try to make statements about it.”

  1. kroehrig said

    Comic is up.

  2. Biodude said

    Oh too true. Oh too true. I’d have to agree on just about every point on here, other than Anon coming across as so great. It’s always seemed to me that they fought for other reasons, not the survival of the internet.

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